By SheelaR

My friend has a moral dilemma.  She’s been talking and exchanging text with an ex, almost everyday, multiple times a day. Now, she knows that she should not be entertaining his attention, but has been.  They’ve both been under a lot of stress from their failing marriages.  It seems like a natural thing for them to do. They need the type of support that only a person in their situation can understand.  She said that she doesn’t want anything else from phone calls and text, but I’m sensing that she may be looking for more.

Her husband is one of my closest male friends.  I’m stuck in the middle. I don’t wan’t to be stuck in the middle.  It’s a cluster fuck. There are days when I’m certain that my friend knows what’s going on and maybe even suspects that I do too.  I often feel unnerved by his subtle probing questions.  They reveal a lot about where his head is, and clearly his mind is on his wife’s activities.  In his mind, I’m guilty by association.

We’re all approaching our thirties, a transition of sorts. Marriage is a delicate institution for the twenty-somethings.  Maybe even a place where most of us don’t belong.  Especially men. Neither one of them seemed particularity excited to get married, but the pressure of a lengthy relationship added to the expectation that they should.

I feel conflicted.  I adore my friends and I don’t want to see either one of them hurting. As much as I’d like to insert myself into the situation, I cannot.  It is not my relationship and I must let my friends navigate these rocky waters without the benefit of my interference.  This is one of those times where you help by offering your love and support only.  That’s all I’m giving.  No advice or information, just a willing and always available ear.