By SheelaR
Death is inevitable for all of us, be it our own or someone that we love. I’m facing that inevitability with someone that I know and love. I’m experiencing all kinds of emotions that I can’t even begin to speak of… Sorrow, anger, guilt and grief. I’ve been down this road before. It is a painful one, because death by terminal cancer always seem especially cruel. It ravages the the body of the one you love, while you patiently wait for the end.
It’s hard to look past the horrific reality of death, when you want to celebrate their wonderful life. All those happy little moments that suddenly flood your memories. She’s a mother figure of sorts. A kind spirit. I’m now wishing I would have spent more quality time with her. I feel some guilt about that, because I’ve been reflecting on how happy she would be to see me when I did show up. Too caught up in my own life to make time for someone who loved me.
When I see her today, I’m hoping that she’ll be awake and aware. I want to be able to say goodbye. I don’t want to, but I must. Saying goodbye is not so much for the dying as it is for the living.
“I believe in the sun when it’s not shining, I believe in love even when I feel it not, I believe in God even when he is silent.”
Thoughts of a Wordinary Girl 