By SheelaR
I’ve been lying in bed staring at the ceiling for the last two hours. My cousin broke up with her new husband of one year. To get ahead of the rumors, he called her at work today and admitted to having engaged sexual liaison only six months into their marriage. They dated for four years before he proposed. By then, she was absolutely sure that he was the one. They cheated us out of a wedding and eloped.
We all know what it feels like to love deeply and freely, and then have our hearts broken. Why does love hurt so much? Why do we think that heartbreak will never happen to us? I’m crying too. Love is supposed to be beautiful. Marriage is an affirmation of that, right? It makes one question the whole point of it all.
In this sad moment for her, I keep thinking about me. There are moments when I’m not sure if I’m crying for her or myself. It’s confusing and overwhelming.
We talked for a few minutes tonight, but the pain of it all was too fresh for her to talk about anymore, with yet another person. I don’t think either one of us is going to get any sleep. I want to wrap my arms around her. I want to tell her that it’ll be ok. However, I don’t really know that it will…
Loving deeply leaves an invariable mark on your heart, mind, and soul. When you speak the words “I love you,” you give away a piece of yourself that you’ll never get back. I’ve never said it when I didn’t mean it. Those three words are more powerful than dynamite. You can feel completely whole one moment and in pieces the next. Love is literally a nicely landscaped minefield. It’s beautiful until you have to navigate it.
We always think about love in a lopsided kind of way. We think about how we’re impacted by it’s grasp. We don’t take into consideration that soul loves us as much as we love them. Love can be a selfish place. With all that being said, I still believe in it.
You will be okay. At some point, you’ll have to decide to either walk away or work it out. I’m here to catch your tears, happy or sad. I love being in love. I’d rather experience the joys of it, even If it’s momentarily, than to never feel it at all.
Love hurts and heals.
Thoughts of a Wordinary Girl 