By SheelaR

Purely out of an intellectual interest, I joined a ‘Black & Poly – BDSM’ group on Facebook. I initially had no idea what being “black & poly or BDSM” entailed.  I didn’t even know that it was a lifestyle that  black people engaged in. It is almost unimaginable to me that anyone would be ok with engaging in such a lifestyle. I’m what I term “super monogamous.” I love the idea of mating for life with one man.  That might actually sound unreasonable to some, so I’ve joined vowing to keep an open mind. If you’re completely clueless as I was, see the links below:

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/BDSM

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory

As soon as my request to join was approved, I quickly began scanning the page for information and posts of interest. I simply want to understand what makes them tick and how one (or three) functions within the confines of a polyamorous relationship. It seems that many, like myself, have lots of questions about the lifestyle; simply looking for a deeper understanding.

Although, much of what I’ve read has been interesting, a post about being  “poly and single” jumped out at me.  I though to myself…how does one become poly and single? That didn’t make sense. Poly and single simply means “Solo polyamory is a fluid category that covers a range of relationships, from the youthful “free agent” or recent divorcee who might want to “settle down” some day but for now wants to play the field with casual, brief, no-strings-attached connections, to the seasoned “solo poly” who has deeply committed, intimate, and lasting relationships with one or more people. Some solo polys have relationships that they consider emotionally primary, but not primary in a logistical, rank, or rules-based sense, and others don’t want the kinds of expectations and limitations that come with a primary romantic/sexual relationship.”

Sounds like a complicated lifestyle.

That’s all I have now. I shall return with more, as soon as I have greater understanding 🙂 I should also have more to add about the BDSM aspect of it. I’ve got so many questions!