By SheelaR

I honestly had no desire to see this movie, but my heart needed to be made whole…so I begrudgingly agreed to go to the 11:55 pm showing with a friend. I promised that I would view it objectively, and I gave it an earnest try. As I suspected…I wasn’t impressed. For me, It didn’t live up to the hype. I get that it was about BDSM, but is that story-line really enough for an entire movie? I’d have to say no. I didn’t find myself relating to the main characters at all. It felt cold and detached.

Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with interjecting a little BDSM into ones sex life, but I prefer that level of intensity with a partner that I share a deep emotional connection with. I guess that’s why 50 shades felt so detached. The relationship between Christian and Anastasia felt a bit too contrived. No real sparks…at least not from my vantage point.

If I’m being completely honest…the popcorn was more exciting. It hit all my spots. Food porn for my mouth. Every handful was orgasmic. It was warm and salty and I like the way the butter coated the inside of my mouth. In between a full fist of popcorn, I’d occasionally pop a few Reese’s Pieces in my mouth, and my entire body would shudder. Making that whole experience complete, were long sips of my frozen coke. I can’t even begin to adequately describe how a mouth full of sweet cold liquid made me feel. After each long drag on the straw, I found myself letting out barely audible moans…with my eyes closed.