By SheelaR

I’m up writing because I know that sleep is somewhere in the distant future.  Just thought I’d purge my brain of a few random thoughts.

I had a fairly good weekend. There were three client parties between Friday and Saturday, and I stayed home all day Sunday.  Didn’t feel much like being around people. I finally talked to my friend Chuck, who lost his younger brother a week ago. That’s five people in my peer group that have died. All for very different reasons.  It’s crazy to think about. As real as death is, it’s surreal when it happens to you. I keep tossing it over in my mind trying to make sense of it…I can’t.

I also talked to my ex-best friend. I feel like saying “whoopty do.”  I’m finally over her. I tried so hard to hold onto what I thought was my friend for life.  I’ve finally come to the realization that some relationships are not worth it or meant to be. I cried a little bit, but I’m good now.

We’re not the same little girls anymore.  I’ll always love her and wish her well.  However, the time has come to move on…that realization is a huge weight off of my shoulders. Many important lessons learned. I’ve healed thyself.

Something weird happened with a friend from Facebook. I won’t go into details, but it was a huge trust breaker. I’ve been violated in the most deepest and ugliest way, so all subsequent violations feel egregious and painful. I don’t think I’ll ever see this person with the same pair of eyes. I’m not sure any explanation given will wash it away. I don’t know why I even bother trying sometimes. It always end up with me wishing I hadn’t.

I told other friends about it and the general consensus was leaving it be, let it go…I can’t. It doesn’t make sense and I need it too. I’m a good friend, and I don’t go around violating my friends trust in me, so I don’t understand why someone would choose to do something so unnecessary to me. Whatever the reason, I hope they’re satisfied. They lost what could have been a great friendship. Thanks for feeding my insecurities.

Confession time… At one of the parties I attended, I ate pepper steak.  That may not be a big deal to most people, but it is for me.  I don’t eat beef. It was the best tasting thing that I’d consumed all week. I’m slightly ashamed but it was delicious and satisfying. Downside, my stomach has been in turmoil all day, but it was worth it.  However, I’m going stick to my vegetarian lifestyle, but just between you and me…an occasional transgression might occur 🙂

Last thing before I sign-off for the night…. The Lasik surgery I had on my eyes, has turned out nicely. It’s amazing how vivid and clear the world has become. Now, if I could only stop reaching for my glasses. Lol

That’s all for now. This mental purging has made me sleepy. Confession really is good for the soul.