By SheelaR

I love being up late at night when the world stops moving. I usually grab my earbuds and a cup of coffee.  When those two things happen, I put on some music and my favorite PJs.  It’s when I come alive. It is when the rawness of my chaotic mind slowly seeps from my soul. I think about all the would haves, could haves, and all the missed should haves. I feel more like me at night than at any other given time

My dad would often say… “Nothing good happens at night.” You’re so wrong dad… All the beautifully amazing and creative people happen at night. That’s when our plans for making the world a beautiful place takes shape. That’s why I’m picky about the music that permeates my soul. It aids in giving birth to whatever is happening in my head. I’ve got about 3000 songs, but you’ll find me listening to the same 100 or so of them. I’m such a creature of habit when it comes to my nighttime listening. I’m more adventurous with my musical selections during the day.

Anyways…

You ever think about someone every day, all day long, and suddenly, you find yourself not thinking about them at all? I’m scared of myself when that happens. I’m the kind of person that loves hard; I love with every inch of me, so getting there feels like a departure from who I am. My family, friends, and lovers are everything to me, so I hate when without notice…they disappear from my thoughts. I often find myself trying to drag them back into my thoughts. I hate losing connections. They haunt me. I always feel that I could have done more to save it all.

It’s probably not helping that I’m listening to “For the Good Times” by Al Green. This particular song always seem to add to my pensiveness. When visiting my grandparents as a child in Connecticut, my grandmother would have this on repeat. It kidnapped my little girl heart and is still holding me hostage. So, I want you to know… That if you should ever find that you need me, I’m going to be right here…. And we’ll do it one more time, for the good times 😉