SheelaR

There are certain things that no child should ever experience – death by a bullet is one of them. I can’t
imagine sending my child out to play, only to never see him alive again. I’ve never had an issue with the police, but this was bullsh*t – a of total disregard for a precious human life. It was utter and complete recklessness…and nothing less.

You cannot reasonably justify or reconcile the killing of unarmed men, women, and children…of any color, ethnic origin, or religion. More than my sadness, I’m angry. I’m angry that this child’s life has been chalked up to “a perfect storm of human error.” It was a perfect storm of malice.

A horrible irony…Ohio is an open carry state, and no one open-carrying has been killed by the police.

By SheelaR

I was going to write a post about R. Kelly and his sordid history with underage girls…. However, I saw this link on Twitter… A first person perspective by Jamie Nesbitt Golden. Jamie’s writes about her experience as a sex assault victim. A profound read.
If you support his music, shame on you.
http://www.xojane.com/issues/fasttailedgirls-sexual-assault-of-black-girls-is-not-a-joke

By SheelaR

I’ve been tossing around the idea of going to Midnight Mass with my parents this year. I haven’t been in about 2 years. I’ve been opting for morning mass, and I don’t attend the same church as my parents anymore. I live in a new community and thought it be best to form bonds here, and it’s simply more convenient.

Every Christmas we’d all go to Midnight Mass, and then my folks would host a big breakfast afterward. My mom and uncle would make bacon, eggs, muffins, potatoes O’Brien, a large bowl of fresh cut fruit, and hot tea & coffee. Church family and neighbors would come over and the revelry would go on for two or three hours in the morning. I still go for breakfast, but I thought it important to start some of my own traditions.

I always looked forward to it, because it was always fun and the the reason for some of my best holiday memories. There is something about Midnight Mass — the dark windows, the cool church, the reading from the Gospel of St. Matthew — that pulls me toward it. Maybe this year I’ll follow that pull, and…

Or maybe I’ll sleep through the night and continue with my new tradition… Maybe mom and dad will join me 🙂

By SheelaR

As we quickly approach the run for presidency, we find ourselves in the midst of a hell and brimstone three ring circus lead by Donald Trump. The candidacy and rhetoric of Donald Trump that has literally set U.S. race relations back more than 50 years. Mr Trump has made the most egregious forms of racism and intolerance openly acceptable by the GOP base. What we are witnessing folks, is a new, raw, and unbridled republican party. They are no longer interested in hiding behind clever euphemisms and doublespeak. They are loud and proud.

If elected, his “promises” may never come to fruition… However, his rhetoric is irresponsible and dangerous for Muslims, Latinos, and any minority community in this country. His thumbs up gives life to fear-based hate. We seemed to have forgotten that America was colonized by refugees fleeing from religious persecution. “Refugees” and “Religion” have now become dirty words when attempting to stoke fear and hate. This country has no room for anymore hate and intolerance.

Donald Trump is a fool cheered by fools and the willfully ignorant. We’ve seen him mock the disabled; engage in talk of rounding up and deporting Mexicans and Muslims; engage in the worst kind of misogyny; and elude to America engaging in religious persecutions.  Did I leave anything out? Oh, yes! He doesn’t seem to like or respect blacks either.

We have to find a meaningful way to shut down the hate rhetoric and lies from the lunatic ultra-right, which teaches their brainwashed foxbot followers that anyone who is not a lunatic rightist, is inferior and corrupt.  Their sick reactionary spewing’s and their cynically pre-planned responses to crises, are designed to attack the President and anyone attempting to challenge their twisted ideology.

The fact that no one on the right can even acknowledge that they are reactionary or even look up the means of that term, tells us how close to ugly ultra-right fascism these incendiary/inflammatory hate-mongers truly are. We are living in perilous times. We must band together and use our common sense and voting power to keep the Donald Trumps of the world out from ascending to power.

“Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.” -John Dalberg-Acton

By SheelaR

Just a thought before I retreat into my “me space.” This is for the men. If it doesn’t apply, let it fly. This is my personal feelings and you don’t need to be offended. If you are, those are your feelings and you own them.

It would be nice if you didn’t use your social media accounts for sharing overly-sexualized and degrading images of women of color. It is those types images that continue to be detrimental to our reputations. Most of us cannot relate to, nor do we engage in those types of behaviors. When you mindlessly share those images via social media, it gives life to harmful stereotypes that only serve to hurt the women that are your wives, mothers, sisters, and daughters.

I have no interest in feminism, if being objectified is the outcome. Women of color are the least loved, respected, and valued in our society. Please do your part to do better by us.

By SheelaR

Ayesha Curry, the wife of NBA Golden State player Stephen Curry, is in the middle of a social media firestorm after tweeting her fashion preferences, which were, that she preferred to cover some parts of her body instead of wearing more trendy revealing outfits. In the age of women like Nicki Minaj and Amber Rose the gentle lines of modesty have been completely obliterated. To be exact, Ayesha tweeted “Everyone’s into barely wearing clothes these days, huh? Not my style. I like to keep the good stuff covered up for the one who matters, ” Just looking at the latest fashion trends. I’ll take classy over trendy any day of the week.  #saturdaynightinsight” I’m frankly, very proud of her for saying that out loud.

There is something wrong with our society, when we give life to Amber Rose and her “Slut Shamming” campaign, but chastise women like Ayesha Curry, for simply expressing a preference for a more modest style of dress. If you want to behave and dress in revealing outfit or engage in slut-like behavior…by all means, but I’d like to ask you to rethink your position and attempts to mainstream behavior that only serve to denigrate women, especially women of color, who’ve already been unfairly and historically relegated to the role of sexual beings. There are little girls watching you, and they don’t need to be taught that behaving this way is goal they should strive for. Striving to be maligned and disrespected should never be any ones goal.

I don’t know how and when we managed to turn “trashy” and “slutty” behavior into a feminist issue. I’m all for women’s rights, but I draw the line at mainstreaming a movement that demoralizes women. That is an issue that has zero to do with leveling the playing field of opportunities and equality. There is no need to openly and brazenly sexualize your image, in an attempt to demand equality. Although, Ayesha was voicing her personal style, it has opened the door to some larger issues that women face in a society the marginalizes their value. It is a dialogue that has been a long time coming and desperately needed. After enduring said firestorm, Ayesha subsequently tweeted “Regardless of if you like my “style of clothes” or not (which I don’t care) please do not tear women down and degrade them… Not cool peeps.” Way to go, Ayesha! Stay unapologetic! 

By SheelaR

There is so much going on in the world and I came here with the intention to write about it, but my mood isn’t right. I’ve got a slow burn about some things, but I’m trying to stay center of any negative feelings and my body is tiring quickly. Maybe tomorrow…

On a lighter note… I’ve decided to make all the gifts I plan on giving for Christmas.  I’m very excited. I bought a crap-load of art supplies and I’ve managed to finish one gift so far. If I don’t forget, I’ll take a photo to share with you.

By SheelaR

Just thought I’d pop in with some random updates and ramblings… It’s been raining and cool all day; the perfect day to stay home, which I did.  On days when I’m at home I tend to notice the most random of things…. Like the fact that my mail carrier doesn’t deliver our mail until about 5:30. That really burns me up and he won’t be getting a bonus this year. It makes no sense to me that he is still out at 5:30 delivering mail. It’s quite an inconvenience. So, that’s that!

I’m loving my life without glasses, since my eye surgery. However, I still reach for my glasses.  I’ve come to the conclusion that glasses are not only serve the function of improved vision, but they are indeed like a favorite blanket. Their presence is comforting.  Weird, but true. Maybe I should just toss them and move on. Keeping them feels too much like the beginning of hoarding. Lol

I adore my new business partner. Hi, Tamara! She’s awesome. Best business decision ever. I almost feel unneeded. While I’m on hiatus, I know that my business will be in capable hands, because she’s already proved to be invaluable. Speaking of hiatus… I’m counting down the days and the excitement of it all is starting to feel overwhelming.  I’m trying not to create to my things to do or hobbies for myself, because I genuinely would like to have some real down time to focus on love and stuff 😉 That last part is TMI, so…

My birthday is coming up, very soon! I’m excited. I’ve got a lot going on. Before I leave town for my family’s pilgrimage east, my friends are throwing me a birthday dinner.  It was suppose to be a surprise, but they spoiled it. I had to let them know that I knew, so they rescheduled it for a couple of days before my actual birth date. I love my friends, they’re so haphazard with everything they do. I really looking forward to it.  I get to see my male bestie James.  He lives and works in Germany and doesn’t seem to make it home very often.  His trip home has less to do with my birthday and more to do with spending Thanksgiving with his family.  For once, I don’t mind being second ❤

I’m thinking about deactivating my Linkedin account. Folks are way too interested in my life. I get a ton of views every week…a lot of them private. It’s fascinating and disturbing…borderline humorous. I’ve only made a few fruitful connections, so It’s not serving much of a purpose business wise, anymore; just another place for folks to lurk. I also get tons of invites to apply for some fabulous jobs in the art industry…one problem, I’m not looking.

Is it asking too much to simply be left alone? People take crossing personal boundaries with a grain of salt, and I’m not like that.  It’s difficult for me to understand.  I makes me weary.  My natural inclination is not trust strangers and to be highly suspicious of their motives.  Add to that, the fact that I was the victim of a violet crime, so being violated makes me super nervous.

I don’t expect people to understand much, but I expect them to respect my privacy and boundaries. Yeah, in these days of social media…everything and everyone is a target on someone else’s. Unfortunate. I could just disappear from social media and the Internet, but I love writing, socializing, and keeping my active brain busy. It’s my double edge sword. I’m hoping my hiatus will give me clarification.

Ironically, I’ve over-shared. I’ve actually got lots more to share, but my mind is beginning to tire. Lol

By SheelaR

I’m up writing because I know that sleep is somewhere in the distant future.  Just thought I’d purge my brain of a few random thoughts.

I had a fairly good weekend. There were three client parties between Friday and Saturday, and I stayed home all day Sunday.  Didn’t feel much like being around people. I finally talked to my friend Chuck, who lost his younger brother a week ago. That’s five people in my peer group that have died. All for very different reasons.  It’s crazy to think about. As real as death is, it’s surreal when it happens to you. I keep tossing it over in my mind trying to make sense of it…I can’t.

I also talked to my ex-best friend. I feel like saying “whoopty do.”  I’m finally over her. I tried so hard to hold onto what I thought was my friend for life.  I’ve finally come to the realization that some relationships are not worth it or meant to be. I cried a little bit, but I’m good now.

We’re not the same little girls anymore.  I’ll always love her and wish her well.  However, the time has come to move on…that realization is a huge weight off of my shoulders. Many important lessons learned. I’ve healed thyself.

Something weird happened with a friend from Facebook. I won’t go into details, but it was a huge trust breaker. I’ve been violated in the most deepest and ugliest way, so all subsequent violations feel egregious and painful. I don’t think I’ll ever see this person with the same pair of eyes. I’m not sure any explanation given will wash it away. I don’t know why I even bother trying sometimes. It always end up with me wishing I hadn’t.

I told other friends about it and the general consensus was leaving it be, let it go…I can’t. It doesn’t make sense and I need it too. I’m a good friend, and I don’t go around violating my friends trust in me, so I don’t understand why someone would choose to do something so unnecessary to me. Whatever the reason, I hope they’re satisfied. They lost what could have been a great friendship. Thanks for feeding my insecurities.

Confession time… At one of the parties I attended, I ate pepper steak.  That may not be a big deal to most people, but it is for me.  I don’t eat beef. It was the best tasting thing that I’d consumed all week. I’m slightly ashamed but it was delicious and satisfying. Downside, my stomach has been in turmoil all day, but it was worth it.  However, I’m going stick to my vegetarian lifestyle, but just between you and me…an occasional transgression might occur 🙂

Last thing before I sign-off for the night…. The Lasik surgery I had on my eyes, has turned out nicely. It’s amazing how vivid and clear the world has become. Now, if I could only stop reaching for my glasses. Lol

That’s all for now. This mental purging has made me sleepy. Confession really is good for the soul.