By SheelaR

If you are unfamiliar with the newest fight brewing in America, I’ve added some links below.

It is unfortunate that in 2015, we find ourselves in a fierce debate over the relevancy of a flag who’s only legacy…is one steeped in hate, slavery, and oppression. Extolling and claiming the virtues of Southern pride is merely an attempt to cover up a heinous part of American history that no one should be proud of. Anyone supporting this sad relic is simply devoid of empathy and understanding of the past and all that it entails.

I’ve been perusing news blogs and the White House Facebook page for a few weeks now, and I’m disturbed by the astounding level of willful ignorance and hate the right has managed to whip up among its constituency. They flock to these sites in droves, loaded with hate speeches, and revisionist history…repeating the same nonsensical verbiage ad nauseam. America is in the mist of a philosophical meltdown. It is like watching the most horrific train wreck, ever. Confederate flag supporters have no shame or interest in moving America forward. They refuse to help in the lighting of a new path that will lead us away from our dark history.

There is no civil war to fight, people. The South lost, and with that….must come a willingness to retire it’s most prided symbol of treason and slavery. There is no such thing as “Southern Pride.” The only pride anyone in this country should claim…is American pride, and even that’s debatable. Something I need to cover in another blog post entry 🙂

We must relegate the Confederate flag to it’s rightful place in history, which doesn’t include it’s placement on public property. It is abundantly clear that we are not living in post-racial America, nor can we…if we continue to hold on to the very symbols that divide a nation of one into two. The South won’t be civilized until they let go of their uncivilized past.

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/07/07/us/south-carolina-capitol-confederate-battle-flag.html?smid=fb-nytimes&smtyp=cur

Well, I’ve been clocking some long hours. I’m exhausted and headed to bed…hopefully, some good sleep will befall me soon.

By SheelaR

My neighbor has these little decorative lamps in her garden. Out of the corner of my eye they look rather menacing, like the kind of critters you see scurrying about late at night. They’re grouped in twos, so it looks like a gang of possum. I love being outdoors and almost everything about nature, but not when things start moving about in the darkness. I watch too many scary movies and my imagination is about to get the best of me. Lol

I forgot to mention that I brought a glass of wine with me. It’s got the perfect chill to it. I can already feel that tightness in my neck start to loosen. A few more sips and I’ll be ready for bed. So much madness in the world lately… The stress of it all is too much some days. We are living in maddening times.

I was watching a documentary about Nina Simone, but I couldn’t really enjoy it with this headache, but I think I’ll go back in and finish watching as I drift into dreamland.

Btw… It’s actually a good documentary. It’s on Netflix. You should check it out when you have a chance.

By SheelaR

At some point while reading the news, I stumbled up a story about about a man who was wanted by police for several attacks against Asian women on New York’s Upper East Side.  As I begin to research the story further…I came across his blog.  It’s not the best read, but it’s a fascinating and frightening look into a tortured mine. Below, I’ve attached links to the story and his blog:

http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/nyc-crime/man-wanted-attacks-asian-women-found-hanging-reports-article-1.2267393

https://mrtalented.wordpress.com/

Enjoy, but not too much…it’s insane.

By SheelaR

Historically, African Americans who tried “passing” as white did so for survival. As they were exposed for “passing,” they faced serious consequences. Any comparisons to Rachel Dolezal’s case are an affront to black people everywhere. Many people are deeply offended by the very idea that someone whose family suffered none of the horrifying systemic racism that blacks have and continue to endure, would so gleefully immerse herself in it as if it were a game. She behaved as though simply claiming it made the black experience hers by default. Any assertion that she had good intentions doesn’t hold up.

Black women in America are still struggling to obtain the most basic aspects of respect in this country. It’s not fair for them to be marginalized in the shadow of a woman who is pretending to know their struggle through real life experiences, when she in fact fabricated them all. I’ve tried to resist the urge to label her, but she’s a sociopath. She co-opted a culture and lied about it, in addition to unfairly obtaining opportunities. I’d also like to remind folks that pretending to be Black is the least of Rachel Dolezal’s hoax. Her faked hate crimes hurt the community she served. Her behavior is borderline criminal.

The work that she “put in” on behalf of the black community while donning black face, is in fact an oxymoron. Those two things cannot reasonably co-exist. It’s all about her own agenda, pity, and attention. If the NAACP decides to keep her on, they will be consigning her unethical behavior. Instead of admitting they were duped and promptly dismissing her, they decided to save face by publicly supporting her altered identity and her pointless explanations. Going forward, I won’t be supporting any of their efforts. They will forever be mired in controversy.

Only in America can you commit such an egregious act against the black community and not only get a pass, but profit from the ignorance of your supporters. I predict Rachel Dolezal will get a TV movie, a book deal & tours on her experience as a black woman. This is the ultimate white privilege. Welcome to America! Rachel Dolezal ran a long con to get to a place where she could have higher status in a community that she fetishistizes, not fully understanding that saying you identify as black, doesn’t make you black. Instead of appropriating a black identity to support the black community, why not do that from within the skin you’re in? To surreptitiously gain control of blackness that is conditioned by centuries of oppression, in the ultimate act of a blackface performance.

*If you’re not familiar with the story, please see the links posted below 🙂

http://www.cnn.com/2015/06/12/opinions/rachel-dolezal-france/

However this turns out, Rachel… Godspeed to ya!

By SheelaR

The topic of discussion today… The appropriateness of a child’s bikini bathing suit. Although, I’m generally conservative in some of my views, I find nothing inappropriate in childs bikini. I can’t even begin to verbalize my surprise at the number of people that drew a coralation between pedophila and a child wearing a bikini bathing suit. I can’t wrap my mind around that level of ignorance. Rape and pedophilia are acts of power and aggression…not at all spurned by how a woman or child is dressed. It is hard to believe that we live in a time and place where this school thought is so prevalent. My mind is boggled. It’s borderline victim blaming. Even more disturbing…the very idea that innocent children are being viewed as sexual beings because they are wearing a bikini bathing suit. 

By SheelaR

Nothing bothers my soul more than crimes against children. As much as I dislike the Duggars, I so wanted the allegations against Josh Duggar to be untrue. Not because he’s one of many reality show fame whores that we have to contend with on a daily bases, but because they were crimes against his very own sisters, who were children when the molestations occurred. As an adult victim of a sexual assault, I know all about living with the pain, shame, and guilt of it all. Unlike the Duggar girls, I don’t have to face my attacker at Thanksgiving dinner or family reunions. There is some measure of comfort in the fact that my attacker was a stranger of sorts. They don’t have that oddly comforting luxury. My heart aches for them, because I’m not sure they realize just much pain is ahead of them…now that the world knows about it. It seems as they are being forced relive it in front of the world, which is unfortunate and most likely embarrassing.

Much of the public’s anger and disgust with this family stems from the fact that they have so wantonly used their religious beliefs to openly infringe on the rights of the LBGT community…branding them all pedophiles…all the while harboring their own. More egregious than that, is how Parents Jim Bob and Michele chose to protect Josh’s future over the well-being of their girls…who are the only real victims in all of this. They lied, covered up, and excused away his crimes by calling them “bad choices.” You failed as parents. While that might sound like a judgment…it’s steeped in a whole lot of truth. As parents you are suppose to be your children’s first line of comfort and protection, you were not.

This is America and we all have a right to religious freedom…it is a fundamental one. However, it is time for you to stop hiding behind your religion and lies of perfection. It’s time you send the camera’s packing from your lives, and that of your innocent children. It’s time that you get real about the horrible things your son did to your daughters. It’s time for you to run into obscurity, so that your family might start the process healing and dealing with mess you’ve allowed to fester. TLC…do us a favor and permanently pull the plug on this shameless family. We’ve had enough…they’ve had enough.

By SheelaR

This blog entry was inspired by a number of conversations I’ve had over the last few days with a number of people.

At what point after a breakup should you have a light bulb moment. After how many days, weeks, months, or years do you get to grieve the end of the relationship? I’m here to tell you…there is no right answer to this question. However, I will say this…it is okay to take your baggage into the new relationship, but it’s not okay to live out of it indefinitely, nor ask the new love to carry any parts of the old baggage. The new love is a different person…unless you have a propensity for dating the same type of people…in that case; you’ll never learn…no really, you won’t.

We all break and have our hearts broken. Pain is inevitable for us all. The end of a relationship is much like the death of a loved one, and because we’ve all experienced that, understanding the heartbreak of a failed love should come as no surprise to anyone. Sometimes the pain is so palpable; you can taste it in your mouth. Especially, when you’ve not experienced the kind of closure you think you deserve. NEWSFLASH! You may never get it and you shouldn’t wait on it. No one owes you the perfect ending.

It’s okay to admit that it hurts and that you don’t know when you’ll be okay. After all that is said…begin sorting through your baggage and get rid of the things you no longer need for the new trip. It would be advisable that you even take a trip (figurative) by yourself. Trust me when I tell you this…it’s the best thing you could ever do for yourself.

Healing is a process. Its progression depends entirely on you. Embrace the pain, because pain reminds us that we are indeed alive. Nurture your mind, body, and soul; you only have one…and it is beautiful. Especially, when a new love knocks at your door.

Goodnight, sleep peaceful and deep; don’t forget to dream!

By SheelaR

I didn’t watch Diane Sawyers’ interview with Bruce Jenner, but my friends were watching and sending me text messages the entire time, and… While I fully support your transition, everything thing you’ve done up to this point, has been the actions of a coward. Having said that…you really should be a woman if that’s how you feel, but it should not have taken 65 years, three wives, six biological children, and four step-children to get to this point. None of us are perfect and we all make mistakes that impact the lives of the ones we love, but what is an acceptable cost? How many broken hearts before the it’s my life train stops?

When you decided to transition in the eighties, there shouldn’t have  been any more wives and children to hurt. That was the opportune time to make this precious journey you’re on. Instead…you drug another woman and more children into a life that you didn’t even love…one mired in confused. You deserve to have your mind and body on the page, but you could have eliminated some of this heartache by not creating more unsuspecting victims. It’s wonderful that your family seem to be supporting you, but you can’t tell me that tears, not those of joy, haven’t been shed. In life, heartbreak is inevitable, but there are times when it’s preventable.

You’re no hero to me, Bruce. Other brave souls had already paved the way for you, but you were too busy being wrapped in your own agenda to notice. You don’t deserve to be treated like a trans-superhero. You’re not in the league of transgendered pioneers such as, Christine Jorgensen, Dr. Marci Bowers, Renée Richards, Kim Coco Iwamoto, Michael Dillion, and Roberta Cowell….your journey and life has been one steeped selfishness.

I completely respect your right and innate need to be the woman you’ve always thought you were, but I shall not be handing you any kudos or slaps on your back, instead…I’m choosing to empathize with the women and children that have surely been hurt by this. Your Olympic gold medal status and fame doesn’t negate the responsibility you had to your families. I’m not even going to get into the whole messy reality show/fame whore aspect of it all…I shall spare you my disdain for the entire Kardashian/Jenner fame machine. Ratings seem to be just as important as your transition…and therein lies the problem.

I hope that you can finally find the peace and happiness that you’ve been looking for, it has been 65 years in the making. More importantly, I hope that your former wives and children can do the same. I suspect that they need time to heal too.

By SheelaR

There is a war on humanity, and we’re losing. We’ve lost all sense on right and wrong, some of which has culminated in historically low race relations. I’m hating the very idea that I feel the need to write this, because it’s an admission that I live in racially unfriendly place and time in American history. Racism is real and deep as the blood running through our veins. It’s painful. Every day…I have to struggle with how to define myself in world that’s acutely hostile to people of color. I’m someplace in the middle, I’m a woman of color, and I’m no place at all some days.

Today, some one said to me “I don’t see color, Sheelagh” Well, If you don’t see color, you’re engaging in oppression. Yes, I said that…you can breath now.  Not seeing color in a world that has divided it inhabitants by it, denies their very existence and experiences…all of which are based on the color of their skin. We may all be the same race, but our skin colors are not. That alone is at the very heart of racism and bigotry. Understand that this is bigger than us as individuals, this is a mankind issue. No more plausible denials. You may pull your head out of the sand now.

The constitution wasn’t designed to protect or ensure the rights of people of color, and it can’t be fixed on the strength of a single inhumane act. We must come to a resounding resolution that enough is enough, and we must act accordingly through our individual and collective acts to ensure that no man is ever again judge simply by the color of his skin. It’s not easier said than done, just do it. As the old cliche goes… “Don’t be part of the problem, be a part of the solution.” Don’t be a part of a system that has become comfortable stripping and denying people of their most basic human rights…to simply live.

All this I say is the truth, and unfortunately, the truth is never a welcoming piece of reality.