By SheelaR

One of my biggest pet peeves…men that gossip and talk out of turn.  Gossiping is traditionally a behavior we expect from women.  However, social media has exposed men as bigger gossips.  There no real benefit to gossiping on any level.  Some men simply find a quiet unspoken enjoyment in it. It makes my skin crawl.

Men engaging in behaviors that we generally associate with women is by far the biggest turnoff. They will always give you some half-ass reason as to why they do it, but the simple truth is…they’re in possession of more estrogen than some women. I don’t like male bashing…but this is worthy of the moment.

Gossiping is destructive and hurtful.  If you feel the need to strengthen your male bonds…go fishing and talk about cars. There is no useful benefit in engaging in such behavior. You’re not doing anyone a service, you’re simply exposing yourself as bitchy and petty, and no one should ever associate the word “man” with “bitchy” and “petty.” Sharing what you think are hurtful or embarrassing things about other people, says more about your character than theirs.

I’m certain that they sale boxers in your size, so please take off your pretty lacy red panties and matching bra set, put down the tea…and go watch a football or hockey game. If that’s too much testosterone for you…I’m going to need your man card.

By SheelaR

It is difficult to wrap my head around the idea of a “Tent City” in America. In my mind, that should never exist in the land of opportunity where CEO’s are wantonly handed out bonus checks, myself included. We have class system that has spiraled completely out of control. One percent controlling 99% of the wealth seems absurd. I grew up as a child of privilege, and it has at times in my life been difficult for me to understand poverty and how it has affected on our nation. Although, growing up, I saw it first-hand through my parents philanthropic endeavors, I never quite understood the why and how of it all. 

As a woman carving out my own privileged world, I get it. I often go to bed wondering if there is something I can do to help and if I’ve not done enough.  It’s easy to get caught up in your selfish existence…forgetting that there are people sleeping on the street while you’re comfortably tucked away in your $3000 bed. I often feel disgusted at enjoying the excesses that privilege has afforded me. Sometimes I look for reassurances of better times ahead, so that the guilt of it all doesn’t consume me.

I’ve said all that to simply point you to this article published in the Metro Times Detroit Times:http://www.metrotimes.com/Blogs/archives/2015/01/11/detroits-tent-cities-then-and-now  

We have so much work to do. I hope the idea of a tent city in 2014 inspires and moves you into action.

“Not all of us can do great things. But, we can do small things with great love.” ~ Mother Teresa

By SheelaR

I’m officially sick of social media. I’d really miss my friends, which is the only reason I stay…but I’m simply sick of everyone else. People have reduced themselves to childish attention whores. I’ve watched quite a few of my friends morph into amazing people, and others into babbling idiots.

I don’t know why I feel this way now. It could simply be a part of my transition. I no longer desire the real or virtual company of people who don’t fit into my neat little box. My expectations are at times too high and it always lead to disappointments. I need out of this whirlwind of craziness.

Outside of social-media lies a great big interesting world. Every time I log off of the virtual one, the real one becomes more interesting. Genuinely interesting people with genuinely interesting lives and stories to tell. That’s what I desire…realness that isn’t forced.

I’ve been here before and I’ve struggled with making the leap. So, what to do? I know the answer, I’m simply struggling with seeing it to fruition. I decided to stay home through the summer to reconnect with the people, places, and things that mean the most to me.

Writing is my life and it keeps me sane in an otherwise insane world, so I’ll be keeping my blog and Twitter accounts. Everything else must go…especially Facebook. I’ve honesty made some wonderful connections, but I desire some solitude…its keeps me grounded.

I’ve considered keeping my Facebook account, minus the friends because I’ve amassed a treasure trove of pages and news sources that I enjoy reading, but how do you tell people you like and would miss that you desire solitude?

How do you explain the need for a quietness of mind that can only be achieved by locking others out? How do you tell people that it’s not them its you? I have a strong need for an emotional wanderlust that simply can’t be cured with an existence fed by an online presence.

This has to be the end for me. I have to let go. I have to retreat back to a time and a place where my peaceful existence ruled the day. Where I wasn’t checking, making, or thinking about status updates. Where I loved and desire the company of my family and friends the most.

Goodbyes are never easy. I’ve said so many of them lately. I wish they were easier. I wish I had the strength and presence of mind to walk away without a second glance. As hard as it is…it has to be.

By SheelaR

Slowly unbutton my blouse from the top
Kissing my neck, please don’t stop
Brushing my silky brown curls
Feeling sensuous, my toes unfurl

Making love with your eyes
Feeling your manhood rise
Falling gently onto the sheets
Listening to pounding heartbeats

My man lover and friend
Stroking me gently, end to end
A mouth so wet and sweet
Roll me over, please repeat

Sinking your fingers into my hips
Pull me in for gentle sips
Making sure to kiss my inner thighs
Keeping contact with my loving eyes

Roll me over, do it again
Exploring my body, from end to end
Carefully entering my salty sea
Taking care to please only me

Exploding in cherished ecstasy
A twinkle in your eyes I can see
Roll you over, to look up at me
Once again into my sea

My turn to give you what you need
Letting you wantonly plant your seed
Wildly riding my sexy stud
Letting your hand message my bud

Pull me into to you by me curly hair
A deep loving exotic stare
Flip me over on my knees
Kissing my back as a tease

Coming to an explosive end
Just experienced love, sex and sin
It isn’t an accident that you’re here with me
Drowning yourself in my misty sea

A momentary pause before we begin
Round two, we’ve caught our wind
Roll me over lets do it again
A happy love in secret sin

By SheelaR

We’ve become a society so deeply entrenched in voyeurism that we’ve managed to obliterate any lines of privacy, decency, and personal space. It’s disturbing and frankly, a little confusing. The standard for how much, when, why we choose to share pieces of ourselves now has to meet with the approval of people you don’t even know or care about you.

We have no respect for how other people live and the choices they make. You don’t have to agree, but what’s wrong with allowing people to live their lives according to their standards? Why do we feel so bothered by people who’ve chosen not to live every moment of their lives out loud for the masses?

We’re a society of group thinking and group norms. There is no such thing as singular or individualism. Either you acquiesce to group norms or face persona non grata. It’s a world with boundaries that don’t exist. It’s a be violated and be happy about it mentality.

*Le sigh*

I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m ready for a place in the middle of nowhere. I’m ready to walk away from the madness that is part of our popular culture and our inability to draw lines, only to have them erased by zealots. I’m ready for a time and a place where I can look out of my proverbial window and not see my neighbors house closer to mine, than mine is to his. Ponder that!

I’m going to lie in the sun for a minute 🙂

By SheelaR

There is no nice way to say this, but some of us (mostly me), wishes that you would crawl back into the shadows of your pre-sex tape days. I’m not impressed or interested in your made for TV lives. As a matter of fact, as a woman…I’m disgusted at how contrived and sexualized everything you seem to do is…right down to your cosmetically enhanced posteriors (Kim & Khloe). Your family (Kris) has thoroughly managed to associate the Kardashian name with trashiness and stupidity. For all the strides that women have made towards equality and some basic level respect…women like you set us back a few hundred years.  You teach young girls that the value of their beings are merely sexual in value. Women like me, pay the price. Having said all that…I’ve not been perfect in my own life. However, It’s never too late to figure that out and change.

Kim & Kourtney, I won’t waste any of my time pointing out to you that you’re someones mother. My guess is, you’ve already heard that and you simply don’t care. Money and fame talks…very loudly I might add. It’s apparent that all the women in the Kardashian family are groomed for the “Keeping up With the Kardashians” brand and style of life, and the world knows what that entails. Now, I’m not lopping all the blame for this spectacle of a life you seem to enjoy on you. The anything goes standard of thinking that is plaguing our society also share in the blame. Your family simply took advantage of this, and who wouldn’t? Not me!

By SheelaR

Living in D.C. has changed me in ways that I did not expect. It’s not taking much to make me happy these days. Some days, all I need is a good book, soul stirring music, and something good to eat…and I’m perfectly happy. I’ve picked up a few habits and let some go. These days, I make it a point of going to bed at a decent hour; no more working happily into the wee hours of the morning; carbs have become my go-to cure for all that ails me; and I’ve become a much better cook. Yes…you read that last one right.

Being away from everything and everyone that I love has had profound effect on me. While I appreciated my close tight-knit circle before, I appreciate it far more than I ever did. However, this has been good for me. Despite all the nights that I’ve laid awake crying because I was homesick, I’ve learned to appreciate all the wonderful people and experiences I’ve gain during the short amount of time I’ve been here. Leaving will be bittersweet.

My neighbors look out for me like I’m their little sister; my staff checks on me if I’m not in the office when they arrive; the guys at the concierge desk have Starbucks waiting for me when I step off of the elevator in the morning; and my buddy next door…always got a bottle of Riesling on chill for me…don’t worry, I drink in moderation of course 🙂

The one thing that I didn’t expect happen was my deep loving relationship with my uncles’ children. In the beginning, I resisted all their efforts to infect my life with their presence. Leaving them will feel like a knife in my chest. They’ve taught me a lot of patience and given me several nasty colds. They cook, clean, and do my laundry. Industrious little buggers they are. I came home from a gala event, and they had even redesigned my blog. They’ve added richness to my life that can only be gained through the most purest form of love.

There is a huge conflict growing in my heart. The thought of coming home makes me happy in ways I can’t even begin to verbalize, but leaving D.C. makes me sad in ways I had hoped it wouldn’t. There have been no lemons here, only lemonade.

“Be present in all things and thankful for all things.”

-Maya Angelou

By SheelaR

I’ve never been a fan of the ‘Honey BooBoo’ reality show on TLC. The moment it launched, I felt sick to my stomach. From the previews alone I could tell that they were the epitome of everything that is wrong with America. It is not and never has been entertainment worthy. It is in many way the lowest form of entertainment. What infuriates me more than this dysfunctional family’s lust for stardom, is TLC’s lust for ratings.

Any reality show that is considering prominently featuring children should put their potential families through a thorough vetting process. Clearly, this Momma June character is unfit, and I didn’t need to see several seasons of their shenanigans to see that. I’m not at all surprised that her “boyfriend” molested her child. I’m also not surprised to hear that she’s spending her TLC spoils on him while giving him access to her other minor child.

They don’t belong on television for us to laugh and point fingers at them. They belong on the sofa of a damn good therapist, paid for by TLC. It is a sad and unfortunate state of affairs when we put fame and fortune before the welfare of innocent children. I hope that Honey Boo Boo is promptly removed from her mothers care. That woman has already demonstrated that she lacks ability to make good decisions, especially as they relate to her children. Why wait for the inevitable to happen. Once a child molester, always a child molester.

Godspeed to ya!

By SheelaR

I’ve been struggling with the idea that I’m a modern woman. In comparison to my own mother, I am, but I’m not sure that I want to be. I have a career that I love and I don’t get caught in traditional things, such as cooking and cleaning, although…I do enjoy them. I like watching sports with the guys, doing outdoorsy type of things, and that whole mindset. I’m not into this whole feminist movement stuff. I’m not sure how it’s helped women, aside from a sexual revolution standpoint. In that case, it hasn’t helped us at all. Women in the workplace still make less than men and men still make the laws that govern our bodies.

These modern feminists look up to Beyoncé as their idol. Her affinity for sequined onesies and bending over on stage while shaking her bottom, is their idea of liberation. If that’s being liberated and modern, I’m behind the times. I define being a modern feminist as embracing all that is soft and beautiful as a woman, while enjoying a multitude of choices this world has made available to me as a free thinking autonomous woman; some of the choices available to men. Feminism has been relegated to the “how sexually free you are” category. I reject that, while making a point of saying…I enjoy copious amounts of sex, but not in a way that makes me too “liberated.”

As a modern woman, I totally appreciate a man who doesn’t have a problem cooking, cleaning, and doling out back and foot rubs. This old-fashioned modern woman, loves that I can seem to have it all without sacrificing all the things that make me a feminine woman, but not a feminist. I like old-fashion love and dating. I like it when a man opens the door for me and kisses me on my forehead when I need it most. As a modern woman, I enjoy the idea a making him a warm meal after a long hard day and running him a bath. As modern woman, I still want to give him babies, and breastfeed them while gazing over at him reading a newspaper.

As a modern woman, I want to be sexy in my clothes but modest in my taste. I want to walk out of my front door with a face free of makeup and still feel at my most beautiful. I want to confidently rule the boardroom while maintaining a calm, soft, and assured demeanor. I want so many things as a unwilling modern woman, so I guess that makes me an old-fashion modern feminist.

By SheelaR

Poor little lass, a confused product of privilege. Raven is what is being termed “The New Black.” New Blacks want to exist under the assumption that their money and privilege makes them colorless in a world where you are almost certainly judged by color before anything else…especially, if you’re black. It is a sad and unfortunate truth and reality. Having said all that, I actually understand how she feels. I too hate being labeled. However, the reality is…we’re labeled from birth and it is an inescapable destiny. She has also said that she doesn’t want to be labeled as “gay,” despite the fact that she is currently in a lesbian relationship. She simply wants to be known as “a human that loves other humans.” Aren’t we all? Isn’t human a label? Now I’m confused.